Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Reflecting On Christmas Past...

Another Christmas has come and gone, and with it, expectations and realities as well as joys and sorrows. As much as we'd like to create the perfect celebration, it just isn't going to happen this side of heaven. Life happens and it doesn't take a holiday even though we'd like it to. There are just things that can not be controlled or manipulated to meet all our expectations. For example, one blogger lost her home this season to a fire. Completely burned to the ground. A friend here on the mountain, lost her husband Christmas day due to health complications. He passed on quietly in his sleep, but left his family behind, including two school-aged children.


I'm not writing this to be gloomy or to complain, but some of us did not have the Christmas celebration we had expected and hoped for. We read about ideas and see images on the internet (like blogs!) and TV or store catalogs, then we imagine our own family sitting around picture perfect trees and stunningly decorated rooms. Everyone is getting along splendidly and nothing goes awry. Oh, and add in a beautiful snowfall and fire in the hearth and you just about have it all, right? 

Reality check.

Did anyone have ALL these things this year? Not me. And if you did, how many years in a row has all this fallen perfectly into place? Zero over here at my homestead.

Because of our expectations verses reality, many will find that disappointment, bitterness, or even depression can take root in the days following Christmas. I sometimes wonder if that's part of the motivation behind so many New Year's resolutions; people deciding to "correct" what went wrong. And while it's not a bad idea altogether to work to make some things better, if your goal is to make next year perfect, it ain't going to happen! 

The real secret to a successful Christmas is...

• learning how to roll gracefully with the unexpected 

• making memories of the mishaps and laughing at them (and when you can, capture it on the camera!)

• putting others and their needs and dreams before your own

• spending glorious time worshiping the Savior and His birth

• remembering that there is always next year to celebrate, either here or in heaven!

Certainly there is a more to Christmas, but having these attitudes means you won't be nearly as disappointed when the holiday is over.


Sometimes you really do need to make a calculated change in your celebrating. For example, if you waited until Dec. 22nd to shop and mail a package going across the United States and found yourself totally stressed and grumpy with the family as a result of poor planning, that usually can and should be changed.


Now is the best time to reflect on Christmas 2010 and make a few notes so that Christmas 2011 will be different in as much as you can control. Trust me, if you don't do it now, come February, you'll have a hard time remembering exactly what you want to do differently.


Take a few minutes today to write out a list of things that went well and things that didn't; some notes about what you want to do differently next year; journal some goals for 2011. Be specific where you can, because now is when the details will be fresh in your mind. If you're having trouble getting started, try using Organized Christmas's Holiday Values Worksheet. Then when you're all done, stick these notes in the front of your Christmas Planner so you'll see them first when you open it up later in 2011. You'll really be glad you did! It's helped me a lot over the years and I'll be making my own list today as well.


16 comments:

  1. Amy, thank God for you and the timely words I needed to hear. I ended up arguing with my mother on Christmas about both of our ideal holidays not playing out how we wanted them, unexpected lunch guests, and guests who didn't show and didn't bother to call, my mother-in-law driving us nuts, and feeling sorry for myself and unappreciated. Tears were shed. I came home late that night and prayed asked God to forgive my bitter heart and lack of focus Him on this most special of days celebrating what He did for us because of His great love. I cried as I listened to Chris Tomlin and Audrey Assad's "Winter Snow" song:

    You came like a winter snow
    Quiet and soft and slow
    Falling from the sky in the night
    To the earth below

    You voice wasn't in
    A bush burning
    Your voice wasn't in
    A rushing wind
    It was still, it was soft
    It was hidden...

    That song has blessed me this holiday week, and your blog has as well. Thank you for that. May God richly bless you and your family now and in the coming year.

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  2. Thanks so much for sharing your own trials this Christmas. I almost didn't publish this post because I was thinking that it might be too negative, but then again, I talked to so many people who had a rough Christmas this year that I felt I should go ahead and just do it. I'm so glad it helped!

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  3. I'm glad you posted this, Amy. We were never promised an easy or perfect life. Scripture tells us we will face trials (John 16:33- "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.") but we forget this and expect everything to be hunky dory and then are disappointed and feel cheated when it isn't. One thing our God is is honest. He tells it like it is and I am thankful for this (James 1:12- "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.")

    Lean on Him, dear friend. He loves you so very much:-).

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  4. Wonderful post!

    I lived through the blogs of others this year... and I sort of shared Christmas with those that I "follow". I was grateful for the "family" and celebration I really needed!

    My husband (who has Cystic Fibrosis) was in the hospital again... that is where we spent Christmas day. I called my father who didn't seem to know who I was really, but managed to let me know that my mother is very ill. I missed my children... and "home". Well, you get the idea...

    On the other hand, I was so grateful to be with my husband, that my adult children are healthy and happy, and that perhaps we'll have another Christmas next year.

    Thank you for your blog and Happy New Year!

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  5. Thank you, THHP!

    Heidi, I'm so glad to hear that you have been able to see past all the trails and were able to embrace the joy!

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  6. Thanks for sharing Amy. There seemed to be lots of sorrow surrounding the days before and on Christmas this year. A relative of mine husband's also passed away a few days before Christmas. Death always brings back memories of my fathers passing which also happened around Christmas seven years ago.
    We ended up having Christmas at our house on a last minute change of plans which stressed me out just a bit because I had to clean my house :o(. But God is good and He brought our family together and that's the important thing.
    I like the idea of writing a list. There are a few things I need to remind myself next year that seems to happen every year.

    Happy New Year!

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  7. Mona, I saw Carmen and Robin in town just before Christmas and they shared with me about the family member who passed on. I was so sorry to hear about it. I'm sure you were a blessing to them by hosting the family at your own home - I saw a few pictures on your FB page and it looked like everyone was having a wonderful time! Hope your New Year if full of rich blessings and joys!

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  8. Our community has been hit hard by the falling economy, so we decided to make a donation to our local Crisis Control Ministry rather than give each other gifts this year. We gave in honor and in memory of loved ones to share the idea with others. Instead of stumbling over unneeded gifts all year, we'll have the joy of knowing a family in need can access services and resources to pull through tough times. Thanks for a good post, Amy. Donna

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  9. I learned a long time ago that the perfect Christmases were those we experienced in our childhood. I feel that's the way it should be.

    Now, it's just about gathering with family and being together with my mom for the holiday. She's 81 years old and making Christmas special for her is the main priority. :)

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  10. There is always a reality check in my family. And I thank you for posting this. This year, our tree was a six foot artificial tree that I usually use as my SECOND tree. We didn't have the time, the energy or the ability, to go out and cut down our own this year. We are dealing with cancer and heart issues in the family and I'm trying to work a lot of hours to get two kids through college. Some years are like that. But guess what....the kids didn't mind the tiny tree this year, it was a lot less stressful on me and we had so much more room in the dining room for Christmas Eve dinner without the BIG tree! God knows what He is doing, even though sometimes we don't understand it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

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  11. Amy,
    Amy, You are so right...For many Christmas isn't what they imagine it will be and those days are hard to get through especially when feelings of celebration and hope have flown the coop and appear to roost in others homes and hearts.
    In my immediate family we were blessed this year... and because of that we are able to reach out to those who were struggling... it was our first Christmas without my father in law and a very hard first Christmas with out him for my mother in law... We can't make things perfect in an imperfect world but we can give of our selves to help healing begin...
    Thank you for your words...
    Peace, Comfort, Love and Prosperity in 2011 to you and yours!
    Deb~

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  12. Wonderful post. Julie from 40 Acre Farm sent me your link.

    I had a very nice Christmas, shopped early and online. One artificial tree up and two strings of lights. The manger scene out on the coffee table. That was it for me!

    But life isn't easy - our furnace is becoming unpredictable, we need septic work done, every time it snows and blows I wait for the goodness of my neighbor to blow us out (he never fails). Husband needs more work, etc etc. I lost my job.

    Life on this earth was not promised to be easy. As Christians - this is not our home, we are only sojourners. Heaven is made sweeter by our trials on earth. If life were good all the time how would we learn to lean on Christ?

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  13. Bownie - Welcome to Homestead Revival™. I'm so glad you found your way here; and than you Julie for sharing the link! Sounds like you had a Simple Christmas and had time to enjoy the important things!

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and comments on a "less-than-perfect" Christmas, everyone. Sometimes it helps just knowing we aren't the only ones going through trials. I'm reminded of the scripture that says " Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Rom. 12:15).

    I pray that God's grace and mercy will grant each of you abundant provisions, joy overflowing, and faith that moves mountains in 2011!

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  14. Dear friend, thank you for helping us all get regrounded...I have my own story too. Sending you a giant New Years hug from the farm~
    Kathy

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  15. Amy, a friend shared your blog with me recently and I have been blessed every time I visit here. Thank you for sharing so much with us. This post in particular rang so very true to me and was something that helped me get my tinsel untangled. I put a link to this post on my blog. So looking forward to spending time here in 2011. Be blessed!

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  16. Oh, I wish I could have read this last week! I just wrote about my crazy holiday. I'm definitely planning on writing ideas down. Thank you for your wonderful thoughts.

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Thank you for visiting Homestead Revival™! Please feel free to contribute to the conversation by leaving your comments. "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." Eph. 4:29

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