How Living Close to the Land Can Help Boys

There are some things I'm so passionate about I start to shake and my stomach gets queasy when I think about them. I'm sure the world could fall apart around me and I wouldn't even notice as I type what's going through my mind. It's just that I feel this incredible need to do something with all those ideas and convictions that well up inside... something constructive!


Today is one of those times... I read an article which clearly struck a chord and I can tell I'm going to be late to an appointment because I can't let the moment go without getting my thoughts out.

To say our twenty-first century youth are in trouble would be an understatement. Yes, there are those who are well adjusted and doing amazing things, but they are the minority. (I'm sorry this seems so negative, but to keep our head in the sand will not make the problem go away or alter it in any way.) Most teens and pre-teens are struggling with issues that seem so insurmountable they are taking their own lives and on occasion, taking the lives of others along with their own.

They are hurting, frustrated, and angry.

So this begs the question(s)...

• Why?
• Is this something new?
• Are they facing problems that we never faced as youth?
• What's the solution?

Obviously the answers to these questions are anything but simple and I would be hard pressed to deal with them all in one blog post. (And everyone would quit reading before the article ended!). Nor do I think there is a single reason for this problem, but there is one aspect I'd specifically like to talk about today.

I happened upon an article by Peter Brown Hoffmeister on his blog by the same name. I don't know Peter and I haven't read any of his other posts, so I cannot recommend him one way or the other, but I can say that I according to his post On School Shooters, I believe he is on to something.

You'll want to read it for yourself, but let me just summarize his thoughts briefly... As a troubled youth, he struggled with many of the same things these mass killers have displayed prior to taking the lives of others. Thankfully, he did not act out on his thoughts and tendencies, grew up, got his act together, finished school and college, and became a teacher himself. He now runs an outdoor program for troubled youth during his free time.

Hoffmeister believes the key difference that causes many to act out on their thoughts today is the over use of violent video games. His observation is that his parents' strong convictions (his mom is mentioned in particular) kept him from sitting in front of a screen for hours on end, however all the recent violent attackers have had a long history of playing violent video games at great length. I'm interpreting his article here, but his belief is that this virtual reality training removed or broke down inhibitions that would have helped prevent these kids from acting out on their thoughts and desires to hurt others (because they themselves are/were hurting).

This isn't really a new thought, but it is insightful coming from someone who has walked very close to the line himself. And the reason his article stood out to me was the fact that he has a very viable solution and is putting that conviction into practice with his Integrated Outdoor Program. Again, I do not know anything about his program other than what I've read on line, so I am not recommending it one way or the other. But, I believe he is on to something that we can all embrace.

All children need to live close to the land in some way.

Another way to summarize this is to say... they need the outdoors; to be close to nature; experiencing creation; etc.

Let me back up just a bit and build my case. May I propose that...

1. Boys in particular need to physically exert themselves. A LOT. Have you noticed that almost 100% of these mass killers are boys? Why is that? Ever heard of male testosterone? Young males get a surge of that stuff and they need an outlet for it. Not all work is equal...they need HARD work. Work that will make them sleep good at night and release excess testosterone. Since the fall in the garden, man has been destined to sweat and toil the ground to provide food (Gen. 3:17-19) and God has designed men to physically meet this challenge. Am I saying every boy needs to grow up to be a farmer by profession? No. But I am saying that they are designed to meet hard physical challenges and it wouldn't hurt if they did some homesteading on the side. Through working on a farm (or tending an inner city garden) and caring for animals, boys learn to be self controlled and gentle even when they don't FEEL like it and at the same time they have an outlet for all that energy.

(Note: I listened to Rush Limbaugh this week while driving and someone tried to bring up the point that mass killers are almost always males to which Rush responded with sarcasm and ridicule. His concern was that the caller wanted to ban only males from having guns, which clearly was NOT her intent, but she just didn't know how to express what she was observing. Why is it that this is being overlooked? Yes, testosterone usually tends to cause males to act "in the moment" and the mass killers tend to commit "premeditated" crimes, but I believe the testosterone is closely linked to the emotion of anger and acting out on this anger can be delayed if one knows they are going to get greater satisfaction at a later time.)

2. Boys need physical work which allows them to contribute to the family and society in a meaningful way.  We've all heard stories of dads that made their boys move a pile of rocks and then move them back (usually as a form of punishment). Yes that exerts energy, but it breaks down the spirit. If we want young men that grow up to be pillars of society, then they need to be engaged in work that allows them to contribute in meaningful ways... genuine work, not busy work.

Not only does the work release excess testosterone, but it helps them emotionally as they fulfill their God-given need to protect, provide, and create. It's like emotionally castrating a young man when all that he does during the day is for his own pleasure and not for meeting the real needs of others, especially for those who are "weaker" in some way... children, women, widows, etc. Please know I'm not saying they should never enjoy some "free time" to do something for themselves, but if they ONLY live for themselves, they will never enjoy the satisfaction of knowing they helped someone else.

3. Boys need to physically connect with creation and their Creator. Yes, girls need this, too, but boys in particular seem to connect with God when they meet Him in a tangible way. And for males, it seems the best way they can do this is outdoors, experiencing nature (and God) up close. This doesn't mean they get a pass from God's call to corporate worship, but it does mean they need to see Him in creation and understand that it is God who orders and ordains all things (as in the cycles of nature), that He is BIGGER than man (like the mountains), that life isn't always fair, but it has purpose (how creation works), and life is fragile (animals are born and they die). And they eventually discover that many of theses things apply to their relationships with other people.

I remember on 9/11, watching the horrors of that day for hours on TV; my feelings were raw and running wild through my mind. At some point, I stepped to a window and looked out to see a few birds, happily pecking away at our feeder. Immediately a wonderful peace flooded over me as I realized the world and life would go on as long as the Creator desired and that somehow, we would be okay no matter what happened in the future. Seeing the sparrows going about their routine amid all the chaos reminded me of the sovereignty of God in a big way! I needed that and I believe it's exactly the kind of thing our boys need.

4. Boys need homesteading mentors. It's one thing to tell a pre-adolescent to go out back and play. It's another thing to tell a teen with raging hormones to go outside and find something to do. Older boys need guidance. Wisdom. And they need it over and over again until they're old enough that their hormones have settled down a bit and those ideas have become a part of who they are as men (ie: their character).

Young men specifically need the Word, not just Creation, and having a mentor who can bring God's truths into their lives is vital. A godly adult can help a boy make the connection between what he sees in creation with what God's Word says because application of Scripture doesn't always follow hearing it and boys often need these correlations pointed out. (Note: We've seen evidence over and over that indicates the mentoring relationship is best when another MAN is able to fulfill that role for a boy, however, God has certainly used females to do this when a male is not available, so do not be discouraged or feel your son is being short changed if God has not provided another man. Do look for opportunities for godly men to speak into his life, but don't wait!)

Homesteading is an excellent solution that any family can engage in to help their children. And if you know of a troubled teen in your neighborhood/community who doesn't have an involved family, you can invite him or her to join you working your piece of land, no matter what size it is. Urban or rural, there ARE ways to connect with nature, whether it's a community garden in a lot between two inner city buildings or a farm out in the middle of nowhere. Other articles and posts address how to find opportunities for these kind of connections, so I won't go into details at this time.

At this point, some of you may be thinking...

"But my son doesn't like the outdoors, in fact, he hates it."
It doesn't matter... he still needs it. Boys don't often know WHAT they need! And moms, why are we coddling these young men? Life is tough... they need to do some things they don't like. It's not like we're sending them to be tortured, for heaven's sake!

"But it's not safe out there." 
Maybe. Maybe not. Danger can be found in many places, and apparently the video games are turning out to be more dangerous than we thought. May I suggest that those who are fearful read Last Child in the Woods by Richard Louv. Trust me... it will help you get past the safety issue and stop being so over protective. We live in a remote area with lots of dangerous wildlife (mountain lions, bobcats, elk, coyotes, and sometimes even bears). I found that I was getting more and more leery of letting the girls go out and explore. Reading this book helped tremendously! (Please note, we never send them out without a large dog. Please use common sense.)

If you live in an urban setting that is riddled with crime, and you are unable to move out of that area, find some community leaders or a pastor that can direct you to resources in reasonably safe areas of your neighborhood or avoid crime-heavy locations during "peak" hours.

"Not all boys are called by God to be the outdoor type." 
It's true; God has called some to a 9-5 job, sitting behind a desk. But all the more reason your son will need to know how to go outside and get some exercise when he gets home from work! My husband's formative years sound like a chapter from Tom Sawyer. Oh, the stories he can tell! But by vocation, God has called him to the role of a pastor. Not exactly an "outdoor" job. When he comes home, he needs time outdoors because all those hours in study and counseling weigh on his body physically and without exercise, fresh air, and sunshine, the toll on him is even greater! On days he comes home and sits in front of the computer, he never feels as good. Thankfully, he learned as a boy those things that call him to the outdoors as an adult.


"I don't know anyone who can mentor my son in homesteading; I'm just learning myself." 
Excellent! Learn together. By discovering new skills along side each other, your relationship will be even stronger. Every child can appreciate a humble parent who is willing to say, "I don't know, but let's find out!". And the fact that you are willing to stop what you are doing and specifically spend time with him will speak volumes! If you don't know much about the Bible, do that together as well. Attend a good church that teaches from the Word verse-by-verse, join a Bible study, or seek out a pastor who can recommend a mentor.


"He doesn't respect or obey me and won't get off the computer and stop playing video games." 
Or something of the like. I really feel for the single mom who finds she's in a situation like this. I may be a girl, but I confess, as a teen (before Christ in my life), I was this kind of child although I wasn't into video games. My mom was afraid to tell me "no" on anything for fear I'd run away or worse. When she told me this years later, I was shocked! Yes, I was rebellious and disrespectful, but there was a limit to it in my mind. I just never let on to that fact. For each child, that limit may be at a different place, but I believe children crave for parents to be strong and place boundaries in their life.

If you have a child like this, you may need to seek some professional counseling from someone who can help you both. And as a parent, you may need a parenting class to help you with your son or daughter. But for most, it's as simple as packing the equipment up when he's gone and send it to an undisclosed adult friend's house until he is ready to get it back WITH LIMITS and respect. Then sit down with your child and discuss how he's going to be spending all that "free time" in the future.

A few closing thoughts...

I realize this post is being read by the "choir" for the most part. If so, please share this with those you feel might benefit. Perhaps someone you know just needs encouragement that they are on the right track and not to give up. Parenting is a 24/7/365 job that lasts for YEARS! And we all have those moments that we drop the ball because we're feeling worn out... physically and emotionally (cause hey, we ain't gettin' younger at this job!).

I also understand that absentee parents probably aren't reading my article and it's no surprise to most of us that these are often the very homes that breed troubled and angry youth. Instead of going into detail here supporting this argument, readers can google statistics that prove this point over and over again. But assuming it's true, what can we do with this information that would help?

Find ways to be involved within your community for those whose parents either can't or won't engage with them. Pray and ask God to direct you to some child in need. Allow your children to bring home a friend who seems a bit... unattended by his parents. Only be sure to have very strict rules as to what they will do and where. In other words, don't be afraid to hang out with them even if it seems "uncool". For girls, that might mean all of you cooking together in the kitchen (something I do with my children when their friends come over). But for boys, give the big outdoors a try. Build a garden box together, make a compost bin, haul some dirt for the garden and play a game of "King of the Mountain" while you're at it.

Finally, consider adoption. Whoa... seriously? Yes. It doesn't even have to be a formal adoption. Just be willing to open your home up to a young person in need of a place to spend extended amounts of time. Foster care is an official term for that. Be wise... this isn't a calling for everyone. Don't bring teen boys into your home with teen girls or you'll be creating a situation that isn't good for either. But some of you have big farms or ranches and no girls OR your children are college age and beyond. You might be the mentor some boy desperately needs. We can't change the all the boys in the world, but we can change the world for one boy. Imagine the impact that would make if we all did that!

In closing, I want to reiterate that I am not as naive as you may think when you read this post... I realize this is only a part of a bigger problem and that it's way more complex than what I've addressed here. But could I get an AMEN that this is a big chunk of it? I apologize this post is much longer than normal, but it's as much for me as anyone... I NEEDED to write this. By thinking it out on "paper", I'm able to process my thoughts better and understand things that seem so overwhelming. I hope... in some small way... it has done the same for you.

Blessings to you and your boys!

What Will You Do This Summer?

Summertime. Three months of bliss! Not that the other nine months aren’t equally captivating in their own way, but when the regular academics are over for the year and the pressure of meetings, regular events, and school commitments has come to a close, the freedom that summer offers (along with the great weather) is a bit intoxicating to say the least! If you’re like me, the “wanna do” list is often more than time allows.

It’s easy just to write out a list of things YOU want to accomplish, but what’s on your list for the future homemakers in your family? While I believe in training daughters on a daily basis by having them work along side of me on just about everything I do, there is a time and place for learning a specific life skill that goes beyond the fundamentals or essentials and captures their passion for learning.

Certainly, I want them to know all the basics of homemaking. This does not change from daughter to daughter. Before they are grown, every child should know how to do laundry, cook a meal, clean a home, etc. But there are areas of specialization that they may find especially compelling and stimulating to their mind and soul.

The rest of this article is at Raising Homemakers where I'm posting today. To finish reading, click HERE.

Raising Boys To Be Men In Today's Culture

After reading a recent article by William Bennett on the subject of raising boys to be men, I could not leave this topic alone. Rightly so, Bennet has pointed out that the majority of boys in our modern society have delayed becoming men; that their adolescent years have been prolonged well beyond the historical age of maturity, and if they reach manhood at all, it's fast become the exception, not the norm. And just to clarify... this is not just a problem with our society at large, but it's a huge problem even within the Christian community.

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I am posting this with great trepidation... after all, who am I to write on raising boys? I'm the mom of three girls... The only male in this house is my husband. Believe me, I have a vested interest in boys, for my girls will hopefully marry mature godly men someday! Perhaps raising grandsons will be in the future. And growing up with only a brother and mostly male cousins didn't go unheeded... I had to WORK at being a girl with all that "male-ness" to contend with! Many of you might be able to write a better post than this one because you've successfully raised boys who became godly men, but humor me if you will and consider some of my thoughts. Especially if you are new to parenting and you have miles to travel through the journey of raising children.

And let me say right from the beginning, moms of boys have a REALLY tough job raising them to be manly in our 21st century culture. It's a lot easier to write on something than to put it into practice! My heart goes out to you for the daunting task at hand. But it isn't impossible in the least. This isn't the first time in history that parents have faced this challenge and if the Lord tarries it won't be the last. To make excuses dooms our children before we even get started! Better to embrace the challenge and wear out our knees in prayer than to whine that it can't be done!

Second, to write a post with "five simple steps to raising boys" trivializes the issue. It can't be accomplished that simply. Books upon books have been written on the subject and most assuredly will in the days ahead, however, I hope to get the conversation started here at Homestead Revival with ideas that will spur parents to consider this topic at length and make applications where it's appropriate for their families.

In my humble opinion, I present to you some of my own concerns that I feel are major obstacles in today's culture for boys to become men (in no particular order)...

• Obscured roles within the home. In general, we talk a good talk, but we don't walk the walk when it comes to the husband-wife relationship. Our men either shrink from being authority figures at all because wives refuse to be submissive (or do so subtly), or the men become unruly and overbearing in order to try to grasp and retain authority. I know that sentence seems kind of ugly on both ends, but it has been the struggle in marriage since the Garden of Eden. The only difference now is that women are mostly working outside the home, have freedoms they never dreamed of even 100 years ago, and many are raising their children alone. Is it any wonder boys shrink from being godly men when they aren't sure what that means?

Ladies, we cannot make our men be leaders in the home, but we can be submissive and honor our husbands, giving them respect, even when we don't think they deserve it. (Do we deserve respect back when we fail to show respect?) Within Christian circles, I've heard many things come out of the mouths of women that are totally antithetical to being submissive wives (mine included! I've shocked myself at times!) Many men (I dare say, most) will shrink back from taking on their god-given role as the leader when the wife is constantly pushing against them in the area of respect and submission. Why then, would our young men aim for something that they see as an impossible challenge? Why would they jump into a marriage where they feel they will be disrespected? And if they did, would they even know what Biblical leadership really looks like?

(I could write a book on this, so it's probably best that I move on to the next point and let you mull it over and decide for yourself.)

• Vicarious experiences through electronic entertainment that don't really challenge maleness. That's a mouthful! Even secular researchers recognize that we are on a dangerous path with all our new-found electronic freedoms. And I'm sure you're not surprised that I have strong opinions about electronic entertainment, but putting all that aside, the best of the best in video games will always fall short because they don't really challenge boys to be men. Strong thumb muscles from remote control workouts do little to strengthen overall body muscles and expel excess testosterone. In fact, a steady diet of internet surfing, Facebook time, texting, video games, and the like has a better chance of breeding laziness than anything else.

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• Boys need to be outdoors! Even if they don't want to, boys should be outside for a portion of each day. Even if his talents and inclinations lean toward the arts, academics, or some other indoor activity. Nature has a way of opening up his heart and mind to God while exercising his body. And if the Lord calls him to some vocation that requires a lot of desk work, he'll need to be familiar with the outdoors to keep his body fit and strong for the task at hand. He needs to develop the habit of nature.

• Boys need to conquer, protect, and take dominion. Throughout history, this has taken place within the context of survival for daily life. Farming, hunting, fishing, building shelters (helping to construct a home), learning to fight... all skills a boy not only would need in the future, but skills the parents needed him to practice as quickly as possible for the good of the family unit. Sports took place as a means of community entertainment, but only sporadically, occurring mostly at social gatherings on special occasions.

Today, we've substitute real skills that last a lifetime for football, baseball, basketball, and soccer. And mostly because many boys do not have access to hunting areas and such, especially if they live in urban areas. PLEASE hear me when I say that sports are not evil or bad for our kids as a general rule. Two of my very own children do so with great joy. But we are fooling ourselves if we think that these are adequate substitutes for conquering and taking dominion; for protecting and learning skills for a lifetime (precious few will ever be engaged in sports as a career). Have we convinced ourselves that the only place a boy can learn team work and submitting to authority is within the context of sports? Are we running them around to so MANY sports that they don't have time to learn life skills? Ask yourself what IS your son is doing in order to learn conquering, protecting, and taking dominion?

• Boys need responsibility early in life. Chores and jobs should always be age appropriate, but we must be careful not to "dumb down" our children, assuming they are too young for some task. Most of the time, we underestimate, not over-estimate, their ability to do something. And it's okay if they struggle with it in the beginning; it will give them greater satisfaction and genuine self-confidence  (not the sinful pride of false self-esteem) when they master a goal that seemed impossible only a few days prior.

• Allow boys to fail. This is a good thing when the stakes are low in order that they know how to recover, get up, and try again. And to do so with dignity! Too many moms rescue their boys, never allowing them to own up to their own mistakes, preventing them from facing giants, and testing themselves (proving their worth) against blows they will most assuredly take as men. I'm not advocating setting our boys up for failure; life will bring plenty on it's own and we don't need to hunt it down. But in today's society, we err on the side of rushing in to protect them from little opportunities that would serve to make men of them in the future.

• Boys need a clear understanding of the terms "gentleman", "meekness", and "manners". As a teacher and principal, the inevitable conflict between boys playing rough and playing with restraint came up... every. single. day. One mom would complain that a young man was too rough with her own son (coming to his defense!). The other mother would counter that her son had been cooped up in a classroom for 4 hours and needed to expel energy... and after all, he IS a boy. What's the correct response in a situation like this? Yes, the rougher boy had a need to be manly, but context is king in this situation. REAL men know that meekness is strength restrained. Like a wild stallion brought under control by it's master. The stallion will always have the ability to crush and trample, but he learns that with people he must be meek. If a boy understands that there are times to be rough and tough, yet times to be restrained and mannerly, while given opportunities for both, he won't become exasperated. (And to the mom who is rescuing her son in this kind of situation... stop, talk to your husband first, and ask how to proceed if your son is feeling bullied. Another man should know what skills to instill in his son to help him rise up to meet conflicts like these.)

• Boys need entrepreneurial skills. Even if a young man ends up working for someone else, having entrepreneurial competence develops a sense of responsibility, assertiveness, initiative, thinking ahead, planning, execution, and a host of other skills he'll need someday as a leader within the home or on the job. Don't wait until they are of "legal" age to work outside the home for someone else; start them earlier with their own small home-based business. Who knows, it could be the beginning of a life-long career. And if times are tough, they'll know how to roll up their sleeves and find ways to support their family rather than waiting for the government to provide in the unemployment line.

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A caveat for mothers who do the majority of homeschooling of their boys through their teen years...  you'll need to be extra careful not to overly "mother" your young man. It's our God-given inclination to protect our young, nurturing them until they leave the nest. But we should be weaning them off our coddling, not prolonging it. Consider the possibility of your son working independently for most of the day on his studies, while reporting to dad in the evening. Fathers can further help by assigning them some manly manual work for a portion of the morning or afternoon, such as cutting firewood, clearing land, working on an old car, repairing something in the home, etc. If you're a single parent, consider an apprenticeship with another godly man for your son.

And for those raising daughters only... it's easy to become critical when surveying the male population coming up, but beware of being too hard on the mothers of boys or the young men themselves. No one will ever parent perfectly and often we judge the unfinished product. Uphold your sisters and brothers in prayer, with all humility and love.

As you can imagine, I have not even begun to scratch the surface of such a deep topic (and applications are running rampant through my mind). It's a hard topic to address because it strikes a deep chord in everyone's soul. Take heart, dear mothers! He wants your little man to stand strong and be godly even more than you do and He will be there to help every step of the way!

Please share the #1 thing you feel boys need in order to become godly, mature men, after a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Frugal Wardrobe Tips for Children

It's Saturday morning and I finally have a moment to relax and breathe! If you're a mom, you know things don't always go as we plan. A month ago, I thought my two younger girls were all set for fall and winter in terms of clothing. Who knew they'd grow so much in the span of just a few weeks? It didn't exactly fit into my agenda, but we found ourselves trying to pull together a bit of a wardrobe for the two young ladies and thus my blogging absence for a few days.

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Scanning clearance racks, scouring through bins, hitting as many stores as possible takes time, but we managed to find some cute solutions to fill in where hand-me-downs left gaps. And thankfully, the timing couldn't have been better. I had some time in a larger city due to an appointment for my oldest daughter and we hit some excellent sales while waiting on her. Apparently retailers are needing to move merchandise in this sluggish economy and we were able to benefit from this.

Originally my goal had been to sew more clothing for the girls, however, I've been very discouraged by fabric costs! $9 for a yard of fabric? Fine for my youngest daughter, but not so great for a 5'4" teenager with long legs. Years ago, I knew of a couple of $1 fabric stores, but both of those are gone. 

Thrift stores are another option, especially if you are building a wardrobe of basics. But if you need to fill in gaps with specific items, it can be a bit tricky. For example, my 13 year old was blessed with three wonderful wool skirts from a friend (for free!), but one needed a gold sweater to match. Not exactly a common item and typically not easy to find even in a store. Thankfully, JC Penney's seems to focus on a lot of quality basics in every imaginable color - 22 to be exact. And usually they have deep sales. SCORE! We paid only $12.72 for this sweater in the perfect color. So the entire outfit cost us less than $13, probably around $16 or so when we add some tights since thankfully, her boots from last year still fit.

We had to get creative a time or two as well. My 9 year old wears a size 7 or 8 in girls. Skirts off the rack tend to be mid-thigh in length (which frustrates our family to no end!). However, with the trend in girls clothing to add those great elastic bands with button holes inside the waist band, one can go up a size, or two, or even THREE, for added length and just cinch up the waist. (I wish they did that with adult skirts sometimes.) We found two size 14 corduroy skirts for LESS than $10 each at Gap Kids! Each had a lovely little tulle hem underneath and hung down below her knees.  (Interesting that the on-line price is only discounted to $25, but the store sold this for $8.39!)

These are just two examples of great deals we found, but it takes time. Whether you're going to go through several thrift stores or shop sales racks, you need to wear your most comfortable shoes and be willing to spend several hours on the hunt. But the payoff can be big. 

Here are some tips that help me when clothes shopping for frugal purchases...

• Access your wardrobe before you hit the street looking. Be sure to try on clothing and know what fits and what doesn't, writing down needs as you go through the closet. Know exactly what you're looking for and try to stick to your list within reason. And don't forget to note accessory items you might need such as tights, cami's, slips, etc.

• Decide how many outfits are sufficient. It's easy to go overboard if you find a really good sale. You can reason in your mind that it's a great buy so get more, but sometimes an extra skirt or two are just too many to wear. Growing kids are going to grow MORE, so don't over purchase. If there are too many outfits hanging in the closet, they won't be able to manage them and things won't get hung up. Before long, the closet is a mess. Beware of purchasing things a size or two larger with the plan that you'll put it back for later when they grow into it. Children don't always grow proportionally and it might not work later for that particular child. With three daughters, none of them are built the same, so sometimes what worked for one child, didn't work for the other. On the other hand, if you're sure something's going to work later and you have the cash, go for it!

• Make room for the new. Either pack the off season items away or be generous with clothes that no longer fit. Pass them off to a friend or a charity. Throw away or repurpose worn, stained items. For storing hand-me-downs, we use large plastic containers to prevent moths and mice from damaging the clothes or we hang them up high in the closet. With 10' ceilings, we were able to install a third rack up near the ceiling. This allows items that will be used in the next season to be close at hand, but out of the way. You can purchase a long handled hook like they use in the departments stores to access the clothes.

• Gather coupons before hand. Stash them in a zip lock back or something, but make sure you take them with you and stick them in your purse! I know this seems obvious, but it's frustrating to be at the check out and know you had a coupon at home!

• Go straight to the sales racks! There's a reason the sale items are in the back. The stores are hoping that you'll see the newer, in-season styles first and opt for these since they make more profit on the full retail price. They display these lovelies, all coordinated for a great fashion "look", but resist the urge! It's fine to get some ideas in this section, but only if your will-power is steel. If you can't find the sales rack, ask a sales clerk to direct you. 

• Ask for help finding what you're looking for. While checking out at the Gap, I struck up a conversation with a kind sales clerk who obviously had great fashion sense by the way she was dressed. I asked her where she recommended we shop for boots (since that was on our list). She immediately directed us to a nearby store that proved to be a gold mine of styles at very modest prices. Since it was a small off-brand store, I would have never sought it out and most likely would have easily passed it by unless recommended. 

• Avoid cheap trendy pieces. While it's fun to have a couple of fashion pieces, don't build your child's wardrobe strictly from the latest fad. Usually trendy items are not always made to last beyond the season at hand and younger children will find them unappealing in years to come if handed down (should they even last that long!). Also, trendy items typically aren't appropriate for any occasion. Items with "characters" on them may seem cute on the rack, but are very limiting in the overall wardrobe.

• Buy quality basics when possible. Basics in solid colors are easy to mix and match allowing you to change up your child's wardrobe without getting too bored. And the cheapest item is not always the best choice. Spending an extra $5 on an item that will hold up through repeated washings is cheaper in the long run than paying less for an item but having to repurchase mid-season because it didn't hold up. An exception might be dress shoes that are worn only for a couple of hours each Sunday. Paying top dollar for something they will seldom wear and out grow quickly doesn't make sense unless you think another child in the family can wear it (provided their foot is the correct size for that particular season's shoes). When kids are older and growing has all but ceased, you can start to think about purchasing investment pieces, but look for great deals in case they have a last minute growth spurt.

• Think outside box! Like our skirt example above, it can really pay to look beyond your child's immediate size on the rack. HOWEVER, be sure the item really does work and not look frumpy. Sometimes an added ruffle or an inexpensive cami can transform a great skirt or dress (this doesn't really work for the boys I'm afraid, but then again, they're clothing is typically easier to deal with from the beginning.)

• Purchase some items slightly larger. Coats are a good example of an item that should be purchased a tad bigger. The cost of a coat is often pricy, so plan on your child wearing it for at least two years. If you have to, roll the sleeves up the first year. Have you ever noticed that fashion magazines often do this to create a "look" anyway? Pick a basic solid color and your child should be set for any occasion.

• Talk with your children before you shop! This is so important... especially for families with girls. Talk about your shopping goals before you EVER leave the house! Make sure that they have an understanding of your family's policy on modesty (and that Dad is on board!), that they know the budget, and they understand what the goal is for the trip. Discuss before hand if they will be using any of their own allowance or work money to make any purchases and if they will be allowed to make any impulse buys (such as a DARLING pair of earrings that she thinks she can't pass up!). You'll be glad you did this when you're tired near the end of the day and the goal shifts to getting done! Not to mention the fact that we've all heard another mother-daughter duo duke it out in the dressing rooms. We don't want things to get ugly, but rather we want to set an example and shine like jewels before others. 

I'd love to hear additional tips, especially from those who have boys! What does your family do when shopping for clothes that is frugal and helpful?

Family Devotions: Children's Commentary

Since we have children ranging from 9-18 years of age, finding a good book for family devotions that everyone can truly benefit from and feel challenged by is hard to track down. But once in a while my husband or I find a gem that's worth the hunt. Recently, he brought home just such a commentary on Genesis for our breakfast devotions.


Nancy Ganz's Herein Is Love series is a commentary for children but it's certainly not in the "light weight" category! Nancy artfully weaves heavy theological truth with words that even an 8 year old can understand. Older audiences will quickly realize her use of alliteration is specifically designed to snag the attention of the younger crowd, but it's easy to overlook her slight overuse of repetitive sounds because Nancy is such a master at connecting the dots throughout scripture, leading the reader to see how God has had an eternal plan from the beginning of time and fulfilled much of it through Christ's life, death, resurrection, and second coming. By bringing in scriptures from throughout the entire Bible, Nancy helps the reader to see the relationship of events from Genesis all the way to Revelation.

And she's quite the storyteller! Her ability to retell the events in Genesis are interesting, but in no way would I say she was dumbing down the lesson or making it seem contrived. Her insights are wonderful, and I confess that I've learned a new thing or two myself at the breakfast table!


I should mention that we have not finished the commentary at this point, but only once can I recall something that was incorrect and I suspect was actually a misprint. And she does take a few liberties in talking about how various Bible characters must have been feeling, but nothing has been out of line by going too far; at least in my opinion and my husband's. He has enjoyed it immensely and more than once, moved to tears!


If you'd like to know more about this book and the rest of the series, you can find out more at Shepherd Press. Also, you can read the introduction and first two lessons to get an idea if it might be a good fit for your family. Finally, there is a Teacher's Guide to help you expand the lesson to include scripture memory, visual aids, crafts, field trip ideas, prayer, review questions, and singing which is based on the Psalter "The Book of Psalms for Singing" (published by the Reformed Presbyterian Church of North America, 1973). At this point, she has completed Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers. I only wish she could do the entire Bible!

I'd love to hear feedback from anyone else regarding her commentaries!

Small Homestead Businesses for Kids

Now that my younger girls are a bit older, they want to earn some extra cash. I like the idea of them learning early the value of a dollar and the work that must go into earning it. Time to start introducing them to a small business venture that is age appropriate.

My oldest had some great piano skills that she put to work as a piano teacher. And her academic skills also allowed her to be of use as a tutor. Each child is different and while all may not have a talent that is obvious at a young age, if they are a willing to work hard and learn, there are lots of things they can do. If possible, I like to encourage an interest, but sometimes, they just need to work! 

A lot jobs are seasonal, but great opportunities, none-the-less. The true entrepreneur will catch the fever and begin dreaming up all kinds of business ventures to keep them going all year-round, some of which may be outlandish. Rather than squash an idea (something I can do all too easily), try asking questions that require them to think through the process and consider the ins and outs in a realistic fashion. 

You may just have to give some of the ideas a try to see if they work or not. But as the parent, it's a great opportunity to teach your child to honor wisdom from those who have gone before them (as you give advice), to try something totally new, serve and work with others, and learn the value of hard work. They will also have a chance to learn financial skills and record keeping.

Ideas for Small Homestead Businesses for Kids

Photo Credit: jamesmorton

• For those who have chickens, caring for them and selling the eggs is almost always a winner. I love how Barbara Kingsolver talks about her youngest daughter's egg business in her book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. What a great little gal! She has a true business sense about her!

Photo Credit: Thai Jasmine

• My youngest (8 years) is attempting to grow cut flowers, such as zinnias. We plan to really get organized this for next year and plan a succession of cutting flowers. Won't that be wonderfully fun! (I'll be helping her with this until she's a little older if it works out).

Photo Credit: Miranda

• If you live in a rural area, many people would love to have help cleaning stalls and barns out or a service that would come in and do this for them. While it might not be the most pleasant job, there would always be plenty of work!

Photo Credit: methyl_lives

• Making jellies, jams, granolas, breads, and other home baked goodies to sell at a local farmers markets would be ideal for some girls. 

Photo Credit: Daveybot

• No one can be at their home 365 days a year. Having a pet sitting service or animal care service would be a winner - especially during holiday periods when people travel. And those that have animals needing special care find it especially hard to leave home. For example, those with dairy animals must train someone to milk for them in their absence. Have your child learn as an apprentice and make a homesteader happy!

Photo Credit: fotobydave

• Weed whacking is a must out west where fires are a constant concern. How many people really have the time to do it themselves? A young man might have to invest in a good weed eater, but he should be able to recover the cost quickly enough. Mowing lawns, weeding, and other garden care is always a need.

Photo Credit: Zero-X

• Young ladies have so much energy! Why not turn those house keeping skills into profit? Form a two or three person team and they could be in and out in no time. I know two sisters that did this and they were in high demand.

Photo Credit: Gary Jazz

• Since we have only girls, my husband often needs another young man to help. Putting up fences, moving heavy objects, chopping firewood... things that really need boy muscles, not a girl's (although my daughters try!). A handy-man's helper "on call" might produce more work than one would imagine!

Photo Credit: _heather_r_

• I know a couple of girls who having an ironing business. Their mother helps pick up and deliver the items and they have regular customers.

Kids will need to get the word out... a flyer would work well and is necessary for billboards, bulletins, car windows, and handing out door-to-door. But can you imagine their excitement if they had their own business cards to hand out as well? Let them help design and print up a few on your computer. 

Be sure to check your state's child labor laws to make sure you're working within the guidelines for your area. And you'll need to know at what point they are required to pay taxes. But all this is a great learning opportunity for them as well. Let them work with you as you research the information and read up on it. Getting them involved will make the transition into responsible young adults that much easier!

One final comment... in keeping with Biblical principals, I also encourage my girls to do some type of volunteer work or serve those in need who are unable to work themselves and unable to pay. Teaching this balance between working for pay and serving those in need is another important aspect of learning to work.

Help me out... I know I haven't exhausted the list of ideas!

This post has been linked to Raising Homesteaders!

Created For Work

I'm always on the look out for a book that meets a spiritual need, is instructional, interesting, and Biblically accurate for our family devotional times. And since we've been talking about chores and routines, I thought it would be appropriate to mention one of my favorites, Created for Work by Bob Schultz.

Bob uses his experience as a finish carpenter to write vignettes about work and how it glorifies the Lord and shapes one's character as we go about our daily tasks. Since my husband was a carpenter and cabinet maker before entering the ministry, he completely related with all the scenarios. But make no mistake, my three girls were not put off by the illustrations Bob used to get his point across.

And while this book was written for boys, girls need to develop a work ethic as well. 

Created for Work clearly articulates all the different aspects of what it means to honor the Lord through your work. Bob tackles subtopics of work such as taking initiative, difficulties, confidence, the value of maintenance, keeping your word, discouragement, keeping your vision, working within the rules, finishing your job, and many more. Each of the thirty-four chapters includes questions at the end to enhance your discussion after reading. 

When we read this, our daughters were 15, 9, and 5. The two older girls really got a lot out of the lessons and we often referred to the character trait we had discussed that week when it came to chore time! It really helped our girls gain insights and improved their attitude toward jobs around the house or when serving others. When our younger one is a bit older, I suspect we'll read it again as a refresher. In the meantime, we'll keep working at getting better at our work and hopefully, character will develop and we'll glorify Jesus Christ! 

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than men..."

-  Colossians 3:23

Summertime Routines

Whenever school gets out, it's so refreshing just to sleep in a bit later, leisurely sit on the front porch and drink a cup of coffee, and not be in a rush each morning. It's what I long for on those cold winter days when I have to crawl out of bed with the alarm clock calling me to get up and get to the schoolwork. 


But then I notice that things start to get so relaxed around the house that everything begins to fall apart. Dishes start to accumulate in the sink, laundry piles up, and clutter begins to form in mounds. Somehow, even gardening supplies begin to gather on the kitchen island. I can only stand it so long!


I've been thinking about it for a while, pondering the question, "Why does the house stay more organized during the school year when I have less time, but falls apart in the summer when I have all those extra hours back in my day?"


Lack of routine.


You can try to escape it, but routines keep us going. Without them we fall apart and our homes become derailed. And yes, they are necessary, even in summer. 


I know that it seems like a cruel thing to suggest a summer routine, but seriously, do we want our three months of warm weather to slip away as the family gets buried in a chaotic house and we run around in an unorganized manner trying to keep up? Schedules certainly don't have to be as tight, but they do need to be in place even in June, July, and August in order to maintain the home so it's pleasant for everyone.

Photo Credit: Andrea R

Summertime Routine Tips


• Let everyone sleep in later, but have a set time that even the laziest member of the family must get up.


• Keep kids on track with chores. Change up the chore chart, switch jobs, or, assign something totally new, but keep some sort of required maintenance around the house.


• Allow kids to earn some extra cash for an ice cream at the pool occasionally by performing some seasonal tasks (yes, we splurge every now and then on a treat, but not on  every single trip tot the pool).


• Are weeds an issue? Require every family member to pull one or two buckets a day each day depending on your weed infestation. If done early in the morning or later in the evening, it will keep these unwanted invaders at bay.


• Assign each child an area to maintain throughout the day. In addition to their regular chores, each child will periodically during the day make sure that one room of the house is picked up and swept.


• Set a time that morning chores must be completed. Be sure to enforce consequences if they don't follow through (See Regulating Computer Time).


• Set an example by maintaining a schedule of your own!


• Actually schedule the big summer homestead projects on your calendar so they get done before fall arrives.


• Have kids work on chores during the hours that it's cooler outside. Save the fun stuff, such as the computer, pool, etc. for the hotter portion of the day when everyone is feeling a bit lazy (You do want to enjoy some of your summer, right?).


• Organize pool supplies, sports equipment, and other items needed for outings so the kids know where to find everything and where to put it back when they get home! Everything needs a place! (And have a routine for what to do with wet swimsuits and towels!) 


• Make it a routine to clean out the car and completely unpack it each time you get home. That way it's ready for the next event.


Somedays will still seem anything BUT routine as you navigate the summer days. When this happens, I just have to remind myself to be thankful that I have the extra hours without school thrown into the mix and that it's helping to refine me further! 


Now it's your turn. Help me add to the summer time chore tips by posting a comment below! 

Chore Charts

Over the years I've used just about every method of tracking chores on the face of the planet. Charts, graphs, laminated flip cards, stickers, stamps, check marks... you name it, I've tried it. Some were a total disaster and I quickly ditched the method. Others worked well even if the child didn't always complete the chore. These were successful because the instructions were clear and easy for the child to know exactly what was required each day.

Today I won't be sharing about how to get your child to do a chore, nor the best way to approach these tasks. I'm saving that for another day. But for now, let me share with you some of the best tools that have worked for our family at various stages in our life.

• Picture Cards: Before my girls could read, we cut out pictures together from magazines that depicted a task they were to complete. This included things like a toothbrush (for brush your teeth), a kitty litter box from an advertisement (for scoop out the litter box), and a lovely place setting of dishes (for setting the table). Each picture went on a different index card. Then I drew a sunshine or a half moon in the corner of the card to indicate a morning chore or an evening chore. All the cards went into a box with a divider. Chores to be done went in front of the divider and once completed, the child moved them in back of the divider. If you have more than one child at this level, use different colored cards for each child.  As you can see from the pictures below, we had a lot of fun with this!

• Laminated Picture / Phrase Cards: As the girls got older, I used a mac program called Pages and organized a sheet of photos with captions for different jobs that required multiple steps. For example: cleaning or keeping the closet and drawers neatly organized. For this card I had pictures like those of shoes nicely arranged (just like I wanted them in their closet), a picture of clothes hanging correctly, and a photo of a girl putting her clothes away in her drawer. Each picture had a phrase that told the child what to do such as "Put shoes in their place!". I also added a scripture from I Corinthians 14:40 "But all things must be done properly and in an orderly manner" as a reminder that God is a god of order. This is part of His character and therefore we should strive to be orderly like Him. (I should mention that this wasn't a traditional chore chart, but a help for doing a chore.)

Although this method did not give me a check system, it worked well because they had a visual of what it actually should look like. When it was time to check it, I would take the card and say, "Do your shoes look like these?" if some are still on the floor. This is good training because they are learning to assess their own work!

• Flip Cards: For the older child (mid to upper elementary), flip cards work pretty good as long as they are characterized by getting it done. The disadvantage of this system is the lack of accountability. It is difficult for parents to check off completed jobs. However, this worked well for my oldest daughter who got it all done, but not in a timely manner. She had to wear a stop watch for a long time to stay on task because she was totally unaware of time and easily distracted! The boxed times were her start and finish time. Later she progressed to just the two times at the top and bottom without the timed increments in between. 

• "I Did My Chores" Charts: A year ago I moved to I Did It Productions commercially produced chore charts by Deeanne  Graham Gist. Although these are expensive at $19.99 for each child, they are sturdy and easy to use. The best feature is the box that allows the child to place completed cards to show the job is done while allowing the parent to quickly check which chores are completed. Each chart can be customized by writing in the child's name and selecting upgraded job stickers such as fairies, princesses, dragons, knights, and robots. The basic set includes a monkey. Deeanne includes a set of instructions for rewards along with some tokens or chips, however we did not opt to use these. If you would like more information from Deeanne on how to best implement chores, visit Chores Help Kids. 

• Fill-In Check List: This summer I'm using a check list for the younger girls (you can view this under the tab at the top "free downloads" or click here). This is mainly because we have totally different jobs in the summer than in the school year. For example, pulling two or three buckets of weeds, watering plants or the garden, and sweeping porches; that kind of thing. This lets me assess what needs to be done each day and make a list for each child before they get up and I can adjust it daily. I usually include some fun things that are education as well. This keeps them fresh and in the learning groove even in the summer.

If you'd like to share your own system and include the link in the comments, I know other mom's would love to take a look! We gotta look out for each other and help where ever we can! Parenting is a big job!